I am determined to get to day thirty of this writing practice. Did I say I’d do these thirty days in a row? Can’t remember. All I know is I nah giving up on the thirty days. I return over and over honouring the commitment I made publicly on fb and to myself. Why does it feel more real when I commit outside myself? I need commitments, deadlines and community! And I feel this to be a paradox recognizing maybe this isn’t the kinda motivation that will keep me in my seat writing, cause perhaps this too is another form of getting comfortable rather than being with the great discomfort of sitting in one’s seat and wrestling with one’s mind to eventually get to the one thing you know saves your life over and over… writing.
I can feel a bigger project waiting. I can feel her in the ache of my throat, the ebb and flow of my belly, hands unfurling, the smile spreading cheek to cheek as I write this knowing awareness/feeling/embodying is where it’s at! May I continue to notice, set intention, find longer periods of discomfort and presence and uncertainty, the breeding ground for emergence to happen!
How to get free, over and over, get free from systems that pull us ceaselessly towards comfort when there’s nothing comfortable about our human world presently. I believe finding personal and communal habits helping us get free and move closer and closer to our passions, our weaponry, our crucial life giving contributions/connections will ground and centre and heal into a world needing all of us to show up and show real.
Ani Pema Chodron writes, “Our world shrinks. When our main goals are to gain comfort and avoid discomfort, we begin to feel disconnected from, and even threatened by, others. We enclose ourselves in a mesh of fear. And when many people and countries engage in this kind of approach, the result is a messy global situation with lots of pain and conflict.”