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Shadows Calling

A wallop of aloneness, feels more like loneliness. Mind racing. How to get rid of. I tell myself, stay. Stay right here, don’t rid anything. Stay. Feel. Feels like when I was a kid and everyone else in the house asleep and I awake; except now feels in reverse, like everyone around me is moving and grooving and I am immobile. Keep coming back to your body. This is a gift, this not going and doing and doing and going; this moment of not looking at a clock or calendar and panicking over time dashing by. A liminal space. A space where holding on is not required. Embers on fire begging not to be poked or prodded. What’s the use of feeling guilty when body is begging you to be, here, now; pay attention; find stillness in between the in between. Embrace slowing down. Get intimate with motion, eclectic feelings: sorrow into anger into envy into laughter into worry into shame (oh shame, always the shame) into gratitude into sorrow and loneliness, confusion and despair. Perhaps your shadows are calling you to show up and season into sorrow, into change. Shake up shame. Show up more and more: more real, more alive just MORE, more you!

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