Ok. Ok Maya I Hear You

Day Five30 Days/30 minute (minimum) practice

Maya says I am not sticking to my original intention of a 30 minute writing practice. She says I’m not letting go of perfection and the need to be seen and validated. Ok, Ok Maya, you have a point. I admit 30 minutes have turned into 60 minutes and sometimes 90 minutes. Maya and she Dad are so precise. 30 minutes means 30 minutes. Literal minded people. I say this without judgement, but as observation. I’ve learned to appreciate this quality in both of them. I am more whimsical and metaphorical and annoyingly justifiable in my looping and galloping thoughts, intentions, commitments. I believe they would agree however they would just use one word to describe me, flighty.

So for the record it’s true for the past four shared pieces (due to more time than usual as Maya and I await post travel covid results) I hand write 30 minutes towards a specified piece and then a few hours later I go back to the piece and fiddle, fumble and wonder what the fuck am I trying to write here. And that is when yes as Maya points out I am letting perfection get in the way. I realize removing this pillar, one of many pillars holding up white supremacy (perfectionism) will take some time, a life time really. But I am noticing and I got Maya noticing along with me. (I do hope she knows this is a pillar she too must knock down within herself in order for growth to occur). Writing is a place of dismantling my own colonial embedded shit. And I want to use this practice more and more in the decolonization work we all need to do personally and collectively and in whatever form that takes. For me writing/facilitation/mediation are my tools. I want to develop these practices bolder and bigger!So ok yes Maya these pieces are not exactly 30 minute pieces. They begin as 30 minute pieces which sometimes lead to 60 and/or 90 which means I’ve kept my ass in the chair longer than usual! Yip yip for me.

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