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do whatever you have to do to keep your mind balanced

Eyes closed piano keys rolling through my mind; loose hair tapping cheek, aching arch of right foot; head buzzing with inner critic, ‘what’s up with you and the slow languor of words slipping through fingers’; perfectly rowed rain drops on swivel orange branches; curled fingers hovering over key board; I close my eyes and am swimming in the sea; proud lemon yellow crotons. Sylvia Boorstien’s, words on a stained cue card, ‘do whatever you have to do to keep your mind balanced.’ Closed eyes. Mango string between teeth, right eye scratching, dog next door yelping, orange scissors popping from pen filled jar, siren, brow scrunched, mom’s voice, “unfurl.” When will thirty minutes chime, done. A long deep breath. This is for you. one more minute to go like swimming against the tide. I stay and swim and get nowhere but here.

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