When my pesky beautiful relentless (sometimes cruel) judgy part arrives and I notice the judgements I am about to, (or too late I’ve placed already) on others and myself I ask ‘oh dear pesky beautiful relentless judgy part of me what are you afraid of? what do you need? What boundaries are you unable to build? Where has curiosity and wonder fled to? Can you rally courage, vulnerability?
Sketchy partial truths rise from where again?
Delusions are inexhaustible, right? Right.
Witnessing the common denominator. Me.
Ask, what is alive about the judgement? ‘They take up too much space’ flips to I wonder what they are afraid of? Pondering what part of them is protecting them from old wounds; turns to my own values and needs ‘I need and value spaciousness and reciprocity in relationships.’ ‘They care only about themselves’ flips to wondering about old wounds showing up in narcissist behaviors and/or flips to (without guilt) my own value and need for full body and mind presence in intimate communication.
Can we ask ourselves what is ours in the judgements we place on others? Can we be gentle and kind with ourselves when that pesky beautiful relentless judgy part arrives? What is he/she/they protecting us from?
Old wounds are you ready to be examined in the light and darkness of your own complicated story? Dear relentless beautiful pesky part, thank you for keeping me safe from an array of old wounds bouncing around in the subliminal. And thanks for pointing me towards the values and needs I need not feel guilty for in honouring and expressing. And thank you for flipping stuckness of the other to wonder and curiosity of all our deeply wounded parts longing to be unburdened and free!